Organization, Xbox and Sleep Away Camp
Life Lessons for a Mom on the Occasion of Her Son’s Bar Mitzvah
My son celebrated his bar mitzvah last month. A monumental occasion for anyone, but more so for a child with ADD, Executive Functioning deficiencies and learning differences. I was asked to share my speech from that day – whether your child has special needs or is just unique – these are life lessons we should all listen to very carefully.
So here’s the thing. I love the speeches that are given at a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Some move me to tears, others make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe and then there are the ones that you could swear have been written about your own child. Through all of them, what I love the most is that you get a glimpse of parenting philosophies – the small nuggets of wisdom or lessons you want to impart on your child. I always feel like I am getting a peak behind someone else’s closed door. So here’s your peak behind ours. There will be no great words of wisdom imparted on this Bar Mitzvah day. No lessons that I hope my son will gain. For you see, no matter how you dress it up or surround it with people that you love, in our house, it would still be considered nagging. Maybe nicer than on a normal day, but nagging none the less. So I decided to turn the tables and let my son nag me today. Or impart some wisdom or lessons for me to learn. Here are a few that I think would be on his list.
That when someone says they need 5 minutes to cool off and leave the room, it really means he needs 5 minutes. It doesn’t mean follow them into the room and keep talking. A lesson that I am still learning but getting much better at.
That the television show South Park is actually quite educational particularly the episodes highlighting compulsive hoarding and attention deficit disorder.
That being organized, always on time and completely prepared 3 days in advance can actually stifle creativity.That there is more music out there to listen to than Z100 and Glee.
That his sister is the cleverest, most rational and beautiful person he knows. Now, I know that too, I just don’t tell her often enough.
That I underestimate him.
That at Camp Robin Hood, Danish Long Ball is a real sport. Playing air guitar in a talent show gets you a standing ovation, and tomato soup is only eaten during the summer.
That when he says he isn’t hungry, he really isn’t. And that goes for cold and tired as well.
That there really is a difference between Saber, Foil and Epee. It all looks like sword fighting to me.
Although he doesn’t always know why he does some of the things he does, he is always deeply sorry afterwards and tells me so. Isn’t that the real lesson?
That Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty are really the stepping stones to a master’s in European and American History and not just Xbox games. Who knew?
Although he might give us a hard time about doing things the conventional way, we should have realized long ago that he is the kind of rule breaking/out of the box thinker that we are all going to end up working for one day.
And lastly, that I need to say more with a lot less words.
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